Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
