He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
