The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
