this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
