We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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