You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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