She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
