I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Your cock deserves a montage
You made out with two different species that night
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I touched a dick in church today
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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