how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
