Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
