whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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