What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
