I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
