all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
