my vag is so smooth its legendary
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
