I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
