Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize