You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
