Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
