This girl is more easily done than said...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
