wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
