His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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