All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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