we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
