Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
His hands were made for my vagina.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
