Banned from zoo.
Again?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
