Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
