20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
