He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Farmville is her only friend.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
