I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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