there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize