We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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