i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
