Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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