Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
