Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
