then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize