You really coming over, don't trick.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
