Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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