Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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