How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
