This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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