i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
