butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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