"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No subtext here. People are naked.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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