we're blogging at a bar
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
