At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
