Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
handjob tips. give me some.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
