Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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