3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
