Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
