Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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