smell my finger.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
