A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
