So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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