i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
