it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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