Cold hands, warm shart.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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