Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
