so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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