you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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