I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
