so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
