Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
