Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
