After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
