If i come over, it means nothing
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
