My boss' voice literally gives me gas
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize