Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
