come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you had me at cake vodka
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
