Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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