Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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