we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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