How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
