do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
