good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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